Shalom may stick or ricochet back – keep an attitude of peace no matter what Part 2 of 4
Jesus sent out these twelve after giving them instructions: “Don’t take the road that leads to the Gentiles, and don’t enter any Samaritan town. Instead, go to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. As you go, proclaim, ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those with leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you received, freely give. Don’t acquire gold, silver, or copper for your money-belts. Don’t take a traveling bag for the road, or an extra shirt, sandals, or a staff, for the worker is worthy of his food. When you enter any town or village, find out who is worthy, and stay there until you leave. Greet a household when you enter it, and if the household is worthy, let your peace be on it; but if it is unworthy, let your peace return to you. If anyone does not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that house or town. Truly I tell you, it will be more tolerable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that town. – Matthew 10:5-15 (CSB)
Last issue, we explored these instructions that Jesus gave his disciples to “shake the dust off your feet” in certain circumstances. This issue, we’re going to spend some time pondering the picture Jesus painted when He told the disciples to “shake the dust off (their) feet.”
Having spent some time looking at the scriptural context of this instruction Jesus gave to His disciples, let’s consider the image itself. What does this image of “shaking the dust off of your feet” suggest to you?
I can’t help but notice that “off” is an important part of the equation. When we shake the dust off of our feet, we’re trying to get rid of the dust so that it no longer clings to us.
If we’re not careful, the dust from our relationships will pollute both the exterior and the interior of our lives.
I seem to do a lot of driving on gravel roads these days. It’s hard to keep the car clean under those circumstances. The wheels kick up the dust and dirt from the road sending it everywhere. At the end of a day’s driving, my blue car has taken on a definite tan hue. Dust covers the car from back to front and from top to bottom. And if I have my windows open, as I frequently do, it even invades the interior of the vehicle. My dashboard always seems to look filthy. I periodically have to wipe the dust off my odometer so I can read the fine print. The same holds true for the radio.
Dust has a habit of invading everything it touches – inside and out. It’s true for my car, and it’s true for our lives. If we’re not careful, the dust from our relationships will pollute both the exterior and the interior of our lives.
So, what exactly is the dust in our relationships?
I wouldn’t object, in the least, if my car was covered with gold dust after a day’s worth of driving. In fact, I’d build in time to carefully wash the car, inside and out, after every trip, being sure to save the water with a view to sifting it in order to recover as much of the gold as possible.
Dust and gold are polar opposites.
Gold has value. Dust has no value. Gold enriches. Dust pollutes.
It’s the same in our relationships with one another. The gold in our relationships consists of anything and everything that has eternal value – the respect we’ve shown to one another, the demonstrations of love and grace that we’ve offered to one another, kind words spoken and caring deeds offered up in love. In short, anything that moves us closer to a deep and eternal experience of shalom is gold.
Jesus doesn’t instruct us to shake the gold off of our feet. Far from it! He blesses that gold as He instructs us to speak shalom over every household that we enter without ever retracting it or taking it back. (Remember that the observation about your peace – shalom – returning to you is passive, not active.) But He does tell us to shake the dust off of our feet as we leave.
Dust has no value. Dust pollutes. Dust – like the dust of anger, the dust of bitterness, the dust of resentment, the dust of unforgiveness, the dust of judgment, and the dust of anything else that hinders or destroys the gold of shalom – must be shaken off before we move on. This is the kind of dust that you don’t want to hold onto. This is the dust from which we must be constantly cleansed. This is the dust we absolutely must shake off – and thoroughly wash off – not just when we leave a relationship, but even as we walk through our relationships with one another.
When you hold onto your anger, your bitterness, and your unforgiveness and when you harbour judgments and resentments against those who have offended you, you’re not shaking the dust off of your feet. You’re covering yourself with your own mud that you’ve made from the dust of the relationship you’re ending. And you’re carrying that dust and mud into every future relationship and ministry that you will ever have . . . in much the same way that I accidentally tracked mud into the kitchen when I carelessly returned to get my keys one morning not realizing that I’d stepped in it first.
Let it be the pattern of your life – your rule of life, so to speak – to speak a blessing of peace over every household you enter. . . Speak a blessing of peace over every place that you go, and over everyone that you meet.
So, are there any principles that we can discern from our study of these two dust-shaking passages of scripture (Matthew 10:5-15, and Luke 10:1-12)? I think there are two:
- Shake off the dust.
When it becomes clear that it’s time to walk away from a relationship, make sure that you shake off the dust from your feet.
- Forgive any real or perceived offenses against you.
- Deal with any bitterness that is threatening to engulf your heart.
- Let go of any resentment you have harboured toward those who offended you
- Release any anger you may have toward those who have offended you.
- Let go of any judgments that you have formed against the one who offended you.
- Change the inner narrative that you tell yourself about all that transpired in the relationship you’re walking away from. (Most of our inner narratives are a mixture of untrue presumptions we’ve made and truths that we’ve accurately discerned. And I dare say that the presumptions most likely outweigh the truths most of the time.)
- Establish yourself as a person of peace.
- Let it be the pattern of your life – your rule of life, so to speak – to speak a blessing of peace over every household you enter. And don’t restrict that blessing to households. Speak a blessing of peace over every place that you go, and over everyone that you meet – including any whose dust you’ve shaken off of your feet. And when you speak that blessing of peace, let it flow from your heart as a genuine desire to bless those you meet – not an act, or a mere habit or formality, like the way many say “good morning” or tell others to “have a good day”.
- And having spoken a blessing of peace over everyone you meet and every place that you go, let it linger there. If it returns to you, let it be God who returns it to you. Or let it be the other who causes it to ricochet back toward you. Let peace linger in your heart. Let peace hover over your lips. Let peace be seen in your eyes. Let peace be felt in your presence – as much as it depends on you.
- And let this peace that forms your rule of life and expresses itself through you increasingly be the genuine shalom that webs together God, humanity and all of creation in justice, fulfillment and delight.
There are some very practical ways in which you can live as a person of peace:
- Maintain your respect for one another.
- Continue to show both love and grace toward the one you once shared fellowship with.
- Continue to speak well of the one who once was your friend or partner, even as you speak the truth as you know it if and when it is appropriate.
- Keep your heart open toward one another with the hope that one day you will once again walk together in the grace of God’s shalom – even if that hope is never fulfilled until we stand together in His presence in His eternal shalom.
What does this look like in real life? What does it look like on Monday morning (as the preacher used to say in her Sunday pulpit)?
Let’s consider some examples:
How should I respond when I have concluded, for whatever reason, that I should take my business elsewhere?
- Shake off the dust.
Begin by processing the offense that led me to sever any future relationship with this particular business.
Have I forgiven whatever offense was caused?
NB: Forgiveness may be relatively easy, or it may be very difficult. If it’s a simple misunderstanding that didn’t really cost me anything other than my pride, it could be very easy for me to forgive the offense. On the other hand, if the company’s action cost me several thousand dollars, I will likely have a much more difficult time forgiving them. (Forgiveness is a massive topic that we can’t even begin to explore in the depth it deserves at this time. Suffice it to say here that forgiving an offense does not necessitate dropping the issue from a legal and financial point of view. One can forgive and still pursue legal and financial compensation.)
Or . . .
Am I still dancing on the edge of bitterness about what went down?
Am I harbouring any resentment toward the one(s) who offended me?
Have I dealt with every last vestige of anger over what happened?
Have I judged the one who offended me?
(I’m using the word “judge” in a very specific way here. To judge a person is to identify the person with their action. Instead of saying, “he stole from me”, I am effectively saying, “he’s a thief”.)
Have I changed the inner narrative that I tell myself about what happened to bring this business relationship to an end? (Have I sought to make only the most gracious assumptions possible about the other’s motives, and grounded myself as much as possible in a truthful account of what happened – including recognizing the truth of how I behaved, and what I might have done to contribute to the situation?
The people involved are created in the image of God. They still carry His DNA, regardless of their words or actions, and that image of God within them is worthy of honour and respect.
- Establish myself as a person of peace.
Even as you part, speak a blessing of peace over the establishment you once patronized, and continue to carry this attitude of blessing toward them in your heart. Pray that God would bless them and prosper them according to His purposes and His ways. Recognize that the shalom you speak over this business may not find its mark. It may, in fact, ricochet back to you either because the business or God Himself prevents it from being received. But let that desire for peace – for shalom – toward them continue to rest in your heart, and leave the results in the hands of God.
Watch what you say about this business, and who you say it to. You’ll be tempted to express just how frustrated you are with what happened, but resist this temptation. Perhaps there is someone who should know what happened – the store manager, for example; but even in this conversation “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt,” as Paul would say. (Colossians 4:6)
Maintain an attitude of honour toward the establishment that you’ve chosen to walk away from, and toward the employee(s) who offended you, recognizing that this offense does not define them. At the core of their being, the people involved are created in the image of God. They still carry His DNA, regardless of their words or actions, and that image of God within them is worthy of honour and respect. We honour God when we honour one another, and it is even more honouring to God when we do so out of our love and respect for Him when the circumstances would normally lead us to do the opposite.
And always keep your heart open toward the business and the individuals involved in this event that led to the ending of your patronage. Who knows but perhaps one day the relationship you once valued with this business may be able to be restored.
If nothing else, your heart will be at peace precisely because you’ve kept an attitude of peace and honour in your heart even as you shake the dust off of your feet toward this establishment. And who knows but that the grace you show toward this establishment may eventually lead to a restoration of the relationship you once had with it – and with those involved in it – that will bless the Kingdom.
Okay, that was a relatively easy one to tackle. For the most part, parting company with a favourite store or business is relatively painless. We may appreciate a company; but under most circumstances, we’re not emotionally tied to it.
What would it look like to apply these principles in a much more emotionally and relationally fraught situation – such as a divorce? How can we shake the dust off of our feet in a healthy way when our marriage partner has betrayed us, or chosen to end the relationship?
Part 3 to appear in the March edition of Living in Truth.
Photo Credit: Photo by Matthew L via Unsplash
