The Art of Healthy Dust-Shaking (3)

Sometimes, a parting of the ways is inevitable – even in the church. (Part 3 of 3)

Jesus sent out these twelve after giving them instructions: “Don’t take the road that leads to the Gentiles, and don’t enter any Samaritan town.  Instead, go to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.  As you go, proclaim, ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’  Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those with leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you received, freely give.  Don’t acquire gold, silver, or copper for your money-belts.  Don’t take a traveling bag for the road, or an extra shirt, sandals, or a staff, for the worker is worthy of his food.  When you enter any town or village, find out who is worthy, and stay there until you leave.  Greet a household when you enter it, and if the household is worthy, let your peace be on it; but if it is unworthy, let your peace return to you.  If anyone does not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that house or town.  Truly I tell you, it will be more tolerable on the day of judgment for the land of Sodom and Gomorrah than for that town. – Matthew 10:5-15 (CSB)

Is there ever a time when Christians should shake off the dust from their feet toward other Christians?

The passage we’ve been studying in Matthew and the parallel passage in Luke describe situations in which Jesus’ disciples were being sent out to evangelize others. These were Jesus-followers reaching out to those who had never heard of Jesus, for the most part.

In Luke’s account the 72 were being sent out “to every town and place where he himself was about to go. In Matthew’s account, the 12 were being sent out to “the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” I guess, in the latter account, a weak argument could be made that the 12 were being instructed on how and when to shake off the dust from their feet against fellow Jews, and that this is the equivalent to Christians shaking the dust off of our feet toward one another, but that is a very weak argument. It’s hardly one that I would hang my hat on.

Nevertheless, it seems to me that there may be times when one believer must shake off the dust from his or her feet toward another believer. One could find justification for such behaviour from time to time in Paul’s letters (1 Corinthians 5:1-5 comes to mind) and in Jesus’ words of judgment against some of the churches, in whole or in part, that He writes to through John.

Ask Him to expose anything else in your heart that may be offensive.

We need to be very careful here, though. It is all too easy to justify dividing the Body of Christ, but there may be times when it is unavoidable—when disagreements over doctrine or practice are so great that a parting of the ways is almost inevitable.

How do we deal with this kind of situation when we are faced with it?

1. I suggest that the first step we absolutely must take is to get on our faces before God praying as David did in Psalm 139:23-24

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.

Ask God to expose any bitterness, self-righteousness, anger, unforgiveness and judgmentalism that you’ve harboured against your brothers and sisters in the Body of Christ.

Ask God to expose any false inner narratives that you’ve been telling yourself about your brothers and sisters in Christ—any ungracious assumptions about their motives or about their relationship with the Lord.

And ask Him to expose anything else in your heart that may be offensive to Him that relates to the action you’re about to take.

(I recommend doing this with the help of a qualified Christian spiritual director or someone else who can ask the hard questions that will help you to process your relationship with Christ and the motives of your own heart.)

It is not our place to judge the motive, faith or commitment to Christ of fellow-believers in Christ.

2. After an extended period of self-examination, if you still feel that you must part company with your brothers and sisters in Christ, shake off the dust from your feet as you go.

• Forgive any real or perceived offenses that your sisters and brothers in Christ may have committed against you.
• Deal with any bitterness that is threatening to engulf your heart.
• Let go of any resentment you have harboured toward your fellow-believers in Christ.
• Release any anger you may have toward your brothers and sisters in Christ.
• Let go of any judgments that you have formed against your fellow-believers.

This is a big one, folks! It is all too easy to assume that those who disagree with you are not true Christ-followers. “If they truly believed in Christ, they would …”  “If they truly believed in Christ, they wouldn’t …”  “If they were truly following Christ, they would …”  “If they were truly following Christ, they wouldn’t …”  Therefore, they must be apostate!

No, my friends! It is not our place to judge the motive, faith or commitment to Christ of fellow-believers in Christ. They belong to Him, just as we belong to Him. As Paul once pointed out, it isn’t our place to judge another’s servant. “Before his own Lord he stands or falls” (Romans 14:4).

Offer a blessing to your fellow-believers as you part company with them.

As we pointed out earlier, the only words the disciples were directed to speak as they shook the dust from their shoes was a declaration that “the Kingdom of God has come near.”

We should keep in mind that the Kingdom of God may well have come near to us through our sisters and brothers in Christ from whom we are departing, even as the kingdom of God may have come near to them through us.

It isn’t our place to judge them. Our place is only to follow Christ wherever He may be leading us.

• Change the inner narrative that you tell yourself about all that transpired in the relationship you’re walking away from. Eliminate any and all presumptions that you’ve made, or that you’re tempted to make against your fellow believers in Christ. If you’ve carefully walked through the first step that I suggested above, you’ve already done some work in this area.  But do it again, and keep on doing it as long as it takes to ensure that your thoughts, attitudes, words and actions are all gracious and honouring toward your brothers and sisters in Christ—whether or not that graciousness is reciprocated.

Don’t be concerned as to whether their faith and faithfulness warrant such a blessing. That is simply not your call.

3. Continue to walk in a spirit of shalom toward your fellow-believers in Christ, whether or not they receive the shalom you are offering.

• Offer a blessing to your fellow-believers as you part company with them.  Bless their finances and bless their ministry to prosper as they faithfully follow the Lord. Do this, not as a matter of formality, but as an expression of your heart toward them.
• Don’t be concerned as to whether their faith and faithfulness warrant such a blessing. That is simply not your call. Jesus’ instructions to the disciples He sent out was to pronounce a blessing of peace over every home and every town that they entered—not just the ones that met with their approval. He promised that the peace would return to them if a person of peace did not reside there, but remember that He did not instruct them to call that peace back to themselves. (“If a person of peace is there, your peace will rest on him; but if not, it will return to you.” – Luke 10:6) God is well able to determine whether your blessing of prosperity on their finances and their ministry will rest on them or return to you. So, leave that judgement (and I use that term advisedly) in His hands and don’t take it on yourself to advise Him as to what He should do!

And having blessed your sisters’ and brothers’ finances and ministry to prosper, continue to walk in shalom with them whether or not they choose to walk in shalom with you.

• Maintain your respect for one another.
• Continue to show both love and grace toward those you once fellowshipped with.
• Continue to speak well of those who were once your close partners in the Gospel – and who will continue to be partners in the Gospel with you whether or not you ever walk in close fellowship again.
• And keep your heart open toward one another knowing that one day you will once again walk together in the grace of God’s shalom when we all stand together in His presence in His eternal shalom.

Can you imagine how much healthier we would all be, if we applied these two principles to every relationship that by choice or necessity we find ourselves winding down—if every time a relationship came to an end, we made a point of shaking the dust off of our shoes and maintaining an attitude of shalom toward one another?

Come to think of it, can you imagine how much healthier our relationships would be if we applied these two principles on a regular basis while still in the relationship?

Why wait for the relationship to come to an end before we bless one another with shalom? Why wait for a relationship to come to an end before we shake the dust off of it?

Dividing the Body of Christ is unavoidable when disagreements over doctrine or practice are so great that a parting of the ways is almost inevitable.

When it comes to speaking a blessing of shalom over one another, it is clear that Jesus intended this to be a regular part of our relationships with one another whether or not it is reciprocated.

Luke said it most clearly:

Whatever house you enter, first say, ‘Peace to this household.’  If a person of peace is there, your peace will rest on him; but if not, it will return to you. – Luke 10:5-6

We are called to take the initiative in reaching out with God’s shalom, and having spoken a blessing of peace over those we form relationships with, we are called to let that peace linger as long as possible, allowing God and/or those with whom we’ve formed a relationship to determine if the peace will return to us.

So, establish yourself as a person of peace.

• Let shalom be your rule of life, so to speak. Speak a blessing of peace over every place that you go and over everyone that you meet—including any whose dust you’ve shaken off of your feet. Let that blessing of peace flow from the deepest part of your heart as a genuine desire to bless those you meet—not an act, or a mere habit or formality.
• And having spoken a blessing of peace over everyone you meet and every place that you go, let it linger there. Let God’s peace toward others linger in your heart. Let peace hover over your lips. Let peace be seen in your eyes. Let peace be felt in your presence—as much as it depends on you.
• And let this peace that forms your rule of life and expresses itself through you increasingly be the genuine shalom that webs together God, humanity and all of creation in justice, fulfillment and delight.
• Let your default attitude be one of honour and respect toward everyone you meet, whether or not you agree with them.
• Let grace and lovingkindness characterize all of your relationships—at least as far as it depends on you.
• Speak well of one another even as you speak the truth in love to one another.
• Keep your heart open toward one another as you increasingly walk together in the grace of God’s shalom.
• And keep an eye out for the dust that inevitably accumulates in every relationship.
• Forgive any real or perceived offenses that your friends or colleagues may commit against you.  If it’s serious enough, and if they are willing, have a grace-filled conversation about it so that you can clear the air. If it’s not serious enough, or if they’re not willing to talk about it, forgive it anyway. (If it’s serious enough to cause you to eventually walk away from the relationship in whole or in part, you will know that you did everything possible to continue walking in close fellowship with this friend or colleague.)
• Deal quickly with any bitterness that is threatening to engulf your heart.
• Let go of any resentment you may be tempted to harbour toward your friend or colleague as soon as you become aware of its existence.
• Be quick to identify and release any anger you may be nursing toward your friends and colleagues.
• Let go of any judgments that you may be forming in your heart against your friends and colleagues.
• And periodically monitor the inner narrative that you are telling yourself about your relationships. Recalibrate your assumptions about what they may be thinking or feeling so that they reflect the most gracious and loving attitudes and motives possible under the circumstances. Ask them to clarify if it appears that less than gracious/loving attitudes and motives may be at play here.  If they are willing to engage the conversation, you will likely gain a deeper understanding of their real motivation, and your invitation to clear the air may allow them an opportunity to see your heart more clearly as well.

So, make dust-shaking a regular part of the maintenance of your relationships—at least as much as you dust the house in order to keep it clean. (Or more so, if your cleaning habits are similar to my own!)

In my experience, dust-shaking goes hand in hand with a lifestyle of shalom.

Photo Credit: Photo by winjohn on FreeImages